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Poprzedniego wieczora zasiadłam w kuchni przy zimnej herbacie, gdzieś między „zostaw tę mąkę Lady Pampers, a chuj baw się, posprzątam w następnym wcieleniu!” i zastanawiałam się, jak to jest, że jak wpadają nocne akcje Lady Pampers, albo poranne zrywy wywozu gruzu, to Brusa nigdy nie ma.
On jest wtedy kiedy świeci słońce, pies siedzi grzecznie na legowisku i nie rzyga, albo nie sra po kątach, Lady Pampers jest uroczą dziewczynką z blond kitkami, która nie tupie jak jej wyrwać z twarzy nakrętkę od wody mineralnej, a Małolata z 3 razy dziennie schodzi i pyta czy w czymś nie pomóc.
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Jak to jest możliwe?
Jak ja mu opowiadam jaki rozpiździel potrafi zrobić ta banda oszołomów, to patrzy na mnie jak na psychicznie chorą i ma minę jakbym twierdziła, że właśnie własnoręcznie złożyłam rakietę kosmiczną w salonie.
W sumie bym się nie pogniewała za taką umiejętność.
Mogłabym się wystrzelić w orbitę okołoziemską i tam pokrążyć przez tydzień, dwa lub rok.
Moje pitolenie kończy się najczęściej tym, że on mówi, że on wie, że ja mam czasem męczarnię z dziewczynami, ale, że on z kolei męczy się ze mną… czasem.
To tak jakby remis nie?
Spojrzałam na zegarek, wzięłam kolejne dwa łyki zimnej kawy i otrzepując Lady Pampers z mąki, zarządziłam kapiel. No to to ma po ojcu. Uczulenie na wodę.
Pierwsze dwa lata mogła mieszkać w wannie. A teraz? Jakby ją do wrzątku wsadzali. Darcie papy o złamanie życia i znęcanie się nad dziećmi.
Potrafi zrobić taki a la koci szpagat jak ją wkładam do wanny.
Poważnie.
4 kończyny i każda w inną stronę.
Widzieliście kiedyś dziecko łapiące się palcami od stóp o brzeg wanny?
Niesamowity widok.
W sumie gdyby nie to, że mi kręgosłup wtedy chce pierdolnąć na pół, to może bym jeszcze potrwała w tym zachwycie i zdjęcie na insta walnęła.
Pół włosów mi wyszarpie zanim ją wcisnę do wanny.
A potem jak gdyby nigdy nic plusku plusku.
Czyzis.
Siadam na kiblu obok i patrzę jak „ Mimi lubi wodę”.
Nie gadaj? Zaczynam w telefonie szukać pierwszych oznak schizofrenii u dzieci i myślę, ile jeszcze wytrzymam z genetycznym obciążeniem zawałem, miażdżycą i nerwicą natręctw w gratisie.
Znowu patrzę na zegarek. Dobra. Czas wychodzić bo woda zimna, a matka ma poranne wstawanie do gruziku.
Nieee! Teraz nie!! Teraz to ona się będzie kąpać do rana! Zostaw ją! Nie dotykaj! Znowu zaczepia się kończynami wanny, tylko teraz na pszyssawkę.
Luz! Taka zabawa, że wesołe miasteczko i połykacz ogni to flaki z olejem
– Mamuusiuu – głos Małolaty przerywa piski Lady Pampers i moje błagania przez zęby, żeby się do jasnej świni pepy, odessała od armatury.
– Mamusiu, jak chcesz to ja rano wstanę i otworzę bramę temu gościowi od wywozu gruzu.
Dmuchnęłam w grzywkę i spojrzałam spod upoconego czoła na swoje najstarsze dziecko. Pewnie chodzi o te nowe airmaxy za połowę zasiłku dla bezrobotnych.
-Wstaniesz rano o 6ej i otworzysz Panu bramę?
Spytałam chyba z tą samą miną, co Brus, kiedy mu opowiadam o szaleńczych dniach i nocach z patolątkami.
– No tak! Przecież mówię wyraźnie!
Są takie chwile kiedy się nie dyskutuje z Małolatami i tyle. Zwłaszcza jak wyraźnie mówią. Przecież! Chce, niech wstanie, najwyżej zacznę sąsiadom kury wysadzać, żeby na te airmaxy zarobić.
Perspektywa pospania, dłużej niż do 6ej rano była niesamowicie kusząca.
– Czemu Ty jej nie wyciągasz z wanny?
Odwróciłam się do szamoczącej się ciągle ze mną i próbującej zanurkować Lady Pe.
– Nie wiem dziecko. Pewnie przespałam te trzy godziny szkolenia w dżungli, jak łapać dzikie pumy w wyskoku!
– Dobra! Tak tylko pytam! Matkooo!
Czyli znowu moja wina. Przywykłam. Grunt, że gruzik wywiozą, a Małolata zacznie spłacać powoli dług zaciągnięty za bezpodstawny wynajem mojej macicy na okres 10 najpiękniejszych miesięcy mojego życia.
Tiiiit! Tiiiiit! Tiiiiit!
Leżałam na leżaku nad basenem, ale czułam, że coś lub ktoś pcha mnie w stronę wody.
Tiiiit! Tiiiit! Tiiiit!
Chcąc się ratować złapałam się prawą ręką ręcznika, ale nie przestawałam się przesuwać.
Tiiiiit! Tiiiiit! Tiiiiiit!
Nagle dostałam czymś ciężkim w głowę.
Zrobiło mi się słabo, ale wiedziałam, że muszą natyczmiast ratować siebie, leżak i drinka. Zwłaszcza drinka!
Ale było za późno!
Leżałam cała mokra. Skopana i oszczana przez Lady Pampers. Nadal śpiącą Lady Pampers.
A za oknem rozlegało się miarowe i drążące dziurę w mózgu: Tiiiit! Tiiiiit! Tiiiit!
Ani drinka, ani basenu, ani leżaczka.
Podniosłam swoje świeżo obudzone zwłoki i doczłapałam do okna.
Rzeczywiście. Brama otwarta. Małolata w spodniach od piżamy i w wyjściowym płaszczu. Zamiłowanie do nieoczywistej elegancji ma po matce.
Ledwie kilka minut po szóstej. Czyli mogę wrócić do wyra i spróbować kimnąć.
Odwróciłam się od okna i spojrzałam na iksmena w swojej pościeli.
Kiedy ona zrobiła tego iksa na całe wyro? Jak długo stałam przy oknie?
Położyłam się w nogach łózka układając ciało w znak nieskończoności i zaczęłam odpływać.
I już znowu leżałam na leżaku, kiedy nagle, hotel za mną zaczął się walić.
Jakby ktoś rozpędzoną kulą wyburzeniową trachnął tuż nad moją głową.
Metaliczny skowyt wyrwał mnie na baczność.
To był idealny moment.
Tak musiała pomyśleć Małolata stojąc wtedy przy bramie i machając do pana odjeżdżającego z naszym gruzikiem.
To wprost idealny moment, żeby właśnie tego poranka to zrobić.
To kochani właśnie wtedy był ten idealny moment.
Po roku błagania, proszenia, straszenia, że się wydziedziczy, że się materac jej do kotłowni zniesie, że w okno życia wepchnie, wtedy właśnie tego onego poranka postanowiła Małolata, że to moment, mówiłam już? Idealny, żeby znieść klatkę suczeła z poddasza do piwnicy.
Metalową klatkę.
Wielką, rozwalającą się metalową klatkę, która przez pierwsze miesiące robiła Suczełowi za budę, a przez kolejne lata Małolacie za stolik pod absolutnie kurwa wszystko.
Jakby któremuś z Was Małolat mówił, że ma za mało szaf i że te ubrania na fotelu, krześle, nogach łóżka to na chwilę tylko rzucił, to ja chętnie, totalnie za darmo oddam metalową klatkę.
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線上娛樂城的另一大優勢是其安全性。許多線上娛樂城都採用了先進的加密技術，確保玩家的資料和交易安全。此外，線上娛樂城還提供了多種支付方式，使玩家可以輕鬆地進行充值和提現。
然而，選擇線上娛樂城時，玩家仍需謹慎。建議玩家選擇那些具有良好口碑和正規授權的娛樂城，以確保自己的權益。
結語：
娛樂城，無疑已經成為當代遊戲行業的一大趨勢。無論是娛樂城APP、娛樂城遊戲，還是線上娛樂城，都為玩家提供了前所未有的遊戲體驗。然而，選擇娛樂城時，玩家仍需保持警惕，確保自己的安全和權益。
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《娛樂城：線上遊戲的新趨勢》
在現代社會，科技的發展已經深深地影響了我們的日常生活。其中，娛樂行業的變革尤為明顯，特別是娛樂城的崛起。從實體遊樂場所到線上娛樂城，這一轉變不僅帶來了便利，更為玩家提供了前所未有的遊戲體驗。
### 娛樂城APP：隨時隨地的遊戲體驗
隨著智慧型手機的普及，娛樂城APP已經成為許多玩家的首選。透過APP，玩家可以隨時隨地參與自己喜愛的遊戲，不再受到地點的限制。而且，許多娛樂城APP還提供了專屬的優惠和活動，吸引更多的玩家參與。
### 娛樂城遊戲：多樣化的選擇
傳統的遊樂場所往往受限於空間和設備，但線上娛樂城則打破了這一限制。從經典的賭場遊戲到最新的電子遊戲，娛樂城遊戲的種類繁多，滿足了不同玩家的需求。而且，這些遊戲還具有高度的互動性和真實感，使玩家仿佛置身於真實的遊樂場所。
### 線上娛樂城：安全與便利並存
線上娛樂城的另一大優勢是其安全性。許多線上娛樂城都採用了先進的加密技術，確保玩家的資料和交易安全。此外，線上娛樂城還提供了多種支付方式，使玩家可以輕鬆地進行充值和提現。
然而，選擇線上娛樂城時，玩家仍需謹慎。建議玩家選擇那些具有良好口碑和正規授權的娛樂城，以確保自己的權益。
結語：
娛樂城，無疑已經成為當代遊戲行業的一大趨勢。無論是娛樂城APP、娛樂城遊戲，還是線上娛樂城，都為玩家提供了前所未有的遊戲體驗。然而，選擇娛樂城時，玩家仍需保持警惕，確保自己的安全和權益。
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《娛樂城：線上遊戲的新趨勢》
在現代社會，科技的發展已經深深地影響了我們的日常生活。其中，娛樂行業的變革尤為明顯，特別是娛樂城的崛起。從實體遊樂場所到線上娛樂城，這一轉變不僅帶來了便利，更為玩家提供了前所未有的遊戲體驗。
### 娛樂城APP：隨時隨地的遊戲體驗
隨著智慧型手機的普及，娛樂城APP已經成為許多玩家的首選。透過APP，玩家可以隨時隨地參與自己喜愛的遊戲，不再受到地點的限制。而且，許多娛樂城APP還提供了專屬的優惠和活動，吸引更多的玩家參與。
### 娛樂城遊戲：多樣化的選擇
傳統的遊樂場所往往受限於空間和設備，但線上娛樂城則打破了這一限制。從經典的賭場遊戲到最新的電子遊戲，娛樂城遊戲的種類繁多，滿足了不同玩家的需求。而且，這些遊戲還具有高度的互動性和真實感，使玩家仿佛置身於真實的遊樂場所。
### 線上娛樂城：安全與便利並存
線上娛樂城的另一大優勢是其安全性。許多線上娛樂城都採用了先進的加密技術，確保玩家的資料和交易安全。此外，線上娛樂城還提供了多種支付方式，使玩家可以輕鬆地進行充值和提現。
然而，選擇線上娛樂城時，玩家仍需謹慎。建議玩家選擇那些具有良好口碑和正規授權的娛樂城，以確保自己的權益。
結語：
娛樂城，無疑已經成為當代遊戲行業的一大趨勢。無論是娛樂城APP、娛樂城遊戲，還是線上娛樂城，都為玩家提供了前所未有的遊戲體驗。然而，選擇娛樂城時，玩家仍需保持警惕，確保自己的安全和權益。
《娛樂城：線上遊戲的新趨勢》
在現代社會，科技的發展已經深深地影響了我們的日常生活。其中，娛樂行業的變革尤為明顯，特別是娛樂城的崛起。從實體遊樂場所到線上娛樂城，這一轉變不僅帶來了便利，更為玩家提供了前所未有的遊戲體驗。
### 娛樂城APP：隨時隨地的遊戲體驗
隨著智慧型手機的普及，娛樂城APP已經成為許多玩家的首選。透過APP，玩家可以隨時隨地參與自己喜愛的遊戲，不再受到地點的限制。而且，許多娛樂城APP還提供了專屬的優惠和活動，吸引更多的玩家參與。
### 娛樂城遊戲：多樣化的選擇
傳統的遊樂場所往往受限於空間和設備，但線上娛樂城則打破了這一限制。從經典的賭場遊戲到最新的電子遊戲，娛樂城遊戲的種類繁多，滿足了不同玩家的需求。而且，這些遊戲還具有高度的互動性和真實感，使玩家仿佛置身於真實的遊樂場所。
### 線上娛樂城：安全與便利並存
線上娛樂城的另一大優勢是其安全性。許多線上娛樂城都採用了先進的加密技術，確保玩家的資料和交易安全。此外，線上娛樂城還提供了多種支付方式，使玩家可以輕鬆地進行充值和提現。
然而，選擇線上娛樂城時，玩家仍需謹慎。建議玩家選擇那些具有良好口碑和正規授權的娛樂城，以確保自己的權益。
結語：
娛樂城，無疑已經成為當代遊戲行業的一大趨勢。無論是娛樂城APP、娛樂城遊戲，還是線上娛樂城，都為玩家提供了前所未有的遊戲體驗。然而，選擇娛樂城時，玩家仍需保持警惕，確保自己的安全和權益。
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參與539彩券非常簡單。玩家只需要到指定的彩券銷售點，選擇自己心儀的五個號碼，然後購買彩票即可。當然，現在也有許多線上平台提供539彩券的購買服務，玩家可以不出門就能參與遊戲。
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每當”539開獎”的時刻來臨，不少玩家都會聚集在電視機前，或是上網查詢開獎結果。這種期待和緊張的感覺，就是539彩券吸引人的地方。畢竟，每一次開獎，都有可能創造出新的百萬富翁。
### 結語
539彩券是台灣彩券市場上的一顆明星，它以其簡單的玩法和低廉的投注金額受到了大眾的喜愛。”539開獎”不僅是一個遊戲過程，更是許多人夢想成真的機會。但需要提醒的是，彩券遊戲應該理性參與，不應過度沉迷，更不應該拿生活所需的資金來投注。希望每一位玩家都能夠健康、快樂地參與539彩券，享受遊戲的樂趣。
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《539彩券：台灣的小確幸》
哎呀，說到台灣的彩券遊戲，你怎麼可能不知道539彩券呢？每次”539開獎”，都有那麼多人緊張地盯著螢幕，心想：「這次會不會輪到我？」。
### 539彩券，那是什麼來頭？
嘿，539彩券可不是昨天才有的新鮮事，它在台灣已經陪伴了我們好多年了。簡單的玩法，小小的投注，卻有著不小的期待，難怪它這麼受歡迎。
### 539開獎，是場視覺盛宴！
每次”539開獎”，都像是一場小型的節目。專業的主持人、明亮的燈光，還有那台專業的抽獎機器，每次都帶給我們不小的刺激。
### 跟我一起玩539？
想玩539？超簡單！走到街上，找個彩券行，選五個你喜歡的號碼，買下來就對了。當然，現在科技這麼發達，坐在家裡也能買，多方便！
### 539開獎，那刺激的感覺！
每次”539開獎”，真的是讓人既期待又緊張。想像一下，如果這次中了，是不是可以去吃那家一直想去但又覺得太貴的餐廳？
### 最後說兩句
539彩券，真的是個小確幸。但嘿，玩彩券也要有度，別太沉迷哦！希望每次”539開獎”，都能帶給你一點點的驚喜和快樂。
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《2024總統大選：台灣的新篇章》
2024年，對台灣來說，是一個重要的歷史時刻。這一年，台灣將迎來又一次的總統大選，這不僅僅是一場政治競技，更是台灣民主發展的重要標誌。
### 2024總統大選的背景
隨著全球政治經濟的快速變遷，2024總統大選將在多重背景下進行。無論是國際間的緊張局勢、還是內部的政策調整，都將影響這次選舉的結果。
### 候選人的角逐
每次的總統大選，都是各大政黨的領袖們展現自己政策和領導才能的舞台。2024總統大選，無疑也會有一系列的重量級人物參選，他們的政策理念和領導風格，將是選民最關心的焦點。
### 選民的選擇
2024總統大選，不僅僅是政治家的競技場，更是每一位台灣選民表達自己政治意識的時刻。每一票，都代表著選民對未來的期望和願景。
### 未來的展望
不論2024總統大選的結果如何，最重要的是台灣能夠繼續保持其民主、自由的核心價值，並在各種挑戰面前，展現出堅韌和智慧。
結語：
2024總統大選，對台灣來說，是新的開始，也是新的挑戰。希望每一位選民都能夠認真思考，為台灣的未來做出最好的選擇。
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3. **增加信心**：當玩家使用體驗金獲得一些勝利後，他們的遊戲信心也會隨之增加。
如何獲得體驗金？
大部分的線上娛樂城都會提供體驗金給新玩家。通常，玩家只需要完成簡單的註冊程序，然後聯繫客服索取體驗金即可。但每家娛樂城的規定都可能有所不同，所以玩家在領取前最好先詳細閱讀活動條款。
使用體驗金的小技巧
1. **了解遊戲規則**：在使用體驗金之前，先了解遊戲的基本規則和策略。
2. **分散風險**：不要將所有的體驗金都投入到一個遊戲中，嘗試多種遊戲，找到最適合自己的。
3. **設定預算**：即使是使用體驗金，也建議玩家設定一個遊戲預算，避免過度沉迷。
結語：體驗金無疑是線上娛樂城提供給玩家的一大福利。不論你是資深玩家還是新手，都可以利用體驗金開啟你的遊戲之旅。選擇一家信譽良好的娛樂城，領取你的體驗金，開始你的遊戲冒險吧！
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