Tryptyk męski

Zawsze mnie to intrygowało i ciekawiło. Przecież te „Januszki” ktoś do cholery musiał wychować? A patrząc bardzo ogólnie na historię ludzkości, to najczęściej to była kobieta. Czyli jednak jest tak, jak głosi powiedzonko: „Urodziłam sobie idealnego mężczyznę. I nigdy, przenigdy nie pozwolę mu o tym zapomnieć.”

Póki nasz Narcyś ma lat 3 lub 8 to jest po prostu roooozkoooszny. Taaaki zabawny z tym swoim poniewieraniem matką i innymi ludźmi. Potem, kiedy wchodzi w wiek dojrzewania i zaczyna być wulgarny i chamski to mamunia mówi, że po prostu „się popisuje hehehehehehe”.
Dlatego, kiedy Narcyzek zaczyna już zauważać dziewczyny, to uważa się za duszę towarzystwa, TYLKO WTEDY, kiedy publicznie powie coś o ich cyckach, albo dupie. Jak tylko spotka się z aprobatą takiego zachowania, idzie dalej. Przy akompaniamencie śmiechu swoich debilnych i zapatrzonych w niego współtowarzyszy, opowiada co on by to z nią zrobił, albo czego nie.
Uroczy, kochany Narcyś mamuni. Zabawny chłopiec. Przecież wszystkie dziewczyny stoją w kolejce do jego serduszka, czekając na choćby łaskawe spojrzenie. On przecież taki jest wyjątkowy. Drugiego takiego nie ma. Całe życie słyszał, jaki jest wspaniały i jedyny w swoim rodzaju.
Aż szkoda, że nie 😉
Słyszał, że takiego chłopczyka to mamunia nikomu nie odda. Żadna baba nie zasługuje na niego. ŻADNA!
Więc Narcyś się babom nie oddaje. On je sobie bierze i bawi się tak długo, póki zabawa odbywa się na jego zasadach. Wydziela im łaskawie, cenne na wagę złota minuty, ze swojego bezcennego czasu. I za każdym prawie razem zaznacza, jakie to one szczęście mają, że ON własnie dla nich ten czas poświęcił.
Narcyś nie ma męskiego wzorca, bo tatuś Narcysia, albo sam spierdolił, albo jest przez mamunię zepchnięty na dalszy plan. Przecież NIKT nie kocha Narcysia tak jak ona, i nikt przenigdy go nie zrozumie jak ona.
Narcyś sobie rosnie spokojnie w swoim kloszu zajebistości. Jego osrane gacie, zarzygane koszulki i śmierdzące skarpety same się piorą i układają kolorystycznie w szafkach. Tak jak Narcyś lubi najbardziej.
Narcyś nie wie gdzie, co jest w domu, bo i po co ? Herbatka Narcysia jest zawsze ciepła i słodka. Jak serce mamuni.
Narcyś wie po ile jest browar, fajki, kino i taksówka. Ale Narcyś nie wie, ile to kosztuje.
Narcyś wszystko robi dobrze. We wszystkim jest najlepszy. Jest tak dobry, że nawet szkoły nie musi kończyć, bo i tak wiadomo, że wie wszystko najlepiej, a nauczyciele to tępe i zazdrosne mendy.
Narcyś żeni się rzadko. I tylko łaskawie. Ale częściej jest w nieformalnych związkach pt ” Nic ci nie obiecywałem”. Takich, w których nie trzeba się starać, booo ..patrz wyżej 😉
Narcysie znane są z tego, że lubią straszyć i poniżać:

  • Jeszcze raz i cię zostawię.
  • Ostatni raz ci daję szanse
  • Nikt cię nie będzie chciał.
  • Nie dasz sobie rady beze mnie
  • Nie dramatyzuj
  • Nie bądź taka mądra
  • Ciekawe w jakiej mądrej książce to wyczytałas
  • Nie popisuj się

No tak, bo Narcysie wybierają sobie zawsze dziewczęta zakompleksione, cieszące się, że ktoś je zechciał, bo one nigdy nie są piękne. Wystarczy, żeby ” nie były brzydkie”. Przecież nie mogą przyćmić Narcysia. Noo co totototo to nie!
Oczywiście, że niemożliwe, ale nawet niech nie próbują 😉

Czasem Narcysiowi uda się ciut dłużej wytrwać w relacji. Pod warunkiem, że na jego warunkach. Bo wiadomo 😉, albo jest tak jak chce Narcyś, albo wcale. Jeśli dziewczyna jest wystarczająco zdesperowana i zdeterminowana, a do tego ma zaniżone poczucie własnej wartości to jest wprost idealną partnerką Narcysia. A gdyby tak w ramach promo wchodziła jeszcze w dupę pani matce? Prawie idealna. Bo jak wiadomo ideał kobiety jest tylko jeden i ma na imię Mamusia 😉
Jeśli jednak panna Narcysia podniesie głowę za wysoko,to nie daj bosze. Narcyś jest zły, tupie nóżką i grozi palcem.
Co będzie dalej, to zależy od panny.Narcysie bowiem mają ważniejsze rzeczy na głowie, niż podejmowanie decyzji.

Po czym poznać Narcysia? 🙂
Bardzo prosto 😀 Zapytajcie go, czemu z kimś jest? Nie będzie w stanie udzielić odpowiedzi. On jest przecież skoncentrowany tylko na sobie.

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